Spring Cleaning ...

There's something about Spring cleaning that symbolizes a fresh start.  Getting rid of all the old, broken down, unnecessary things that clutter our lives.  Who needs that cord from something you can't even remember what it goes to, or all those boxes from Costco that may just be perfect for something "someday".  Many times our lives become cluttered with old, broken down unnecessary emotional things as well, drama, an unkind spoken word or deed.  When you harbor ill feelings, they can weigh very heavily, and can do damage to our well-being, our health and relationships.  Purging these things makes us stronger and our soul more resilient.  Today, what did I do for my mind? my body? my spirit? my relationships? my creativity and passion? ... Love that "To Do" list ;-)

Big Bad Bully ...

I really have a hard time with bullies.  Watching a child pick on another child will really set me off.  My kids can tell you of a time when we lived across from a ball diamond and a kid was being cruel to my son. I marched right over there and picked the kid up by the scruff of his neck and drug him over and sat him down on my front porch.  I know today you couldn't do that because the neglectful parent will sue you.  On several occasions, I drug the kid home to their parent and informed them that I was not the playground monitor ;-)  Sure, I can laugh now, but back then it wasn't funny.  Unfortunately, those young bullies often grow up to be adult bullies.  It's so sad to have such low esteem that you have to threaten and belittle someone because of your own insecurities.  Adult bullies are cowards that live behind a facade of strength, when actually they are usually miserable people and remember "Misery loves company". 

The Giver ...

I am a giver.  I don't know why I am that way, but I am.  Giving makes me feel good.  I can't even look at something I like without wondering "who could benefit from that"?  I'm quite sure I inherited that quality from my Grandmother. You couldn't be in her house for five minutes without her offering you something to eat.  When you left, she would send you with a parting gift of sorts, usually a box of oatmeal cream pies or a bag of Cheetos ;-)  I sure do miss that lady.  She was the epitome of class.  Now, when the kids come by to visit, I catch myself offering things to them in the same manner.  I've really won the lottery being in a relationship with someone who is a giver just like me.  It's not easy giving to a giver without them wanting to give back ;-) (That's almost a tongue twister ;-)  It sure is a welcomed change though, being with someone who "gets it".  I am truly blessed!

Keep it simple ...

The older I get, the less I need.  When we were kids, we couldn't wait for the JC Penney Wish Book to come out.  We would spend hours browsing page by page, circling everything we wanted for Christmas.  When we are teenagers and receive our first paycheck, we dream of all the things we will be able to buy with it.  When we are adults, our wants seem to grow even larger, a bigger house, a nicer car.  The list goes on.  When and where does it end?  It becomes a way of  life, and before long you're trying to "keep up with the Jones's".  I guess because, from the beginning, I worked to provide for my family.  Although we did enjoy a few luxuries from time to time, I never really felt I could afford the materialistic finer things in life.  Now that I probably could, I have absolutely no desire to.  Luckily, the man in my life is on the exact same page.  The things we enjoy now are small in comparison, an ice cream cone, an estate sale, plants for the garden just to name a few.  Sometimes they are completely free, going for a ride, swinging on the patio swing, snuggled up watching a movie or even window shopping.  Living a simple lifestyle is like winning the mental lottery.  Less stress, no drama.  It's about appreciating what you have.  Keep it simple!

Happiness ...

What makes you happy?  There are many things that add joy to my life.  At the top of the list are of course my loved ones.  I couldn't imagine life without my kids, my other half and my family.  Oh yes, and my grand-puppies.  Let's not forget all of life's little comforts, a roof over my head, electricity, food in my belly, a cup of hot coffee every morning.  All of those things make us feel good and can put a smile on our face, but true happiness lies much deeper than that. It comes from within, and it takes work!    Happiness is a choice.  We've all heard the saying "if life gives you lemons, make lemonade" ;-) That couldn't be more true!  The next time you're feeling down, start naming all of your blessings one by one and I guarantee you'll be able to turn that frown upside down :-) The more you consciously think "Happy", it will become a welcomed way of life.

None for me ... Thanks

Food ... It's hard to believe something that can bring us so much pleasure can also cause us so much grief.  Do you eat to live or do you eat because it tastes good?  Every time you turn around there's another reason why you shouldn't eat something.   Too many calories.  Too much fat.  High in sodium or sugar.  "I'm watching my carbs".  "I need more protein".  The list goes on and on.  I am now at the age where I am aware of my body and what it needs, and I refuse to poison it with the wrong choices, but I also refuse to deprive myself of the simple joys in life.  It's about making better choices.  Everything in moderation.  So, if I occasionally want Chinese take-out or an ice cold Coke, I won't beat myself up over it.  YOLO, right?

Regrets ...

Yesterday was the first day of April.  April Fool's Day.  For me, it also marked the 19th anniversary of becoming a single mother of three.  I'm not a fan of the term "single mom".  Some "mothers", and I use that term conservatively, think that divorce makes them single mothers.  "Single Mother" does not necessarily mean they are raising the kids single-handedly.  Although some would like you to believe so.  Not every divorced father out there is a "deadbeat dad".  There are many who love their children and would pull out all stops for them.  Unfortunately, as with in marriage, many times Mom and Dad can't get along, so it continues post-divorce.    The kids lose their identity and become pawns or weapons in a dangerous game.  Hostile Aggressive Parenting is real folks.  It's ugly.  I've witnessed it first hand.  There are no winners, only losers, the kids.  My perspective was that I divorced my husband, the kids did not divorce their dad. Although sharing the financial responsibility is important, it shouldn't be all about monetary child support or "renting" your kids.  Some women will never be happy.  Child support is just that, support!  Emotional as well as physical.  I fortunately, for the most part, remained cordial with my kids dad.  In my situation, I gave up expecting an even participation and "mothered-up", saw there was a job to be done, and I did it!  Looking back, I survived, the kids survived, so who are the winners again? ;-)

Goodbye March ...

66 glorious degrees today.  Tomorrow is the beginning of a new month.   Spring bulbs are popping up. Trees are budding.  April showers are imminent.   Soon we will be planting our gardens.  This time of year represents new life and new beginnings.  The dark and dreary days of Winter are over.  Jump start your attitude.  Appreciate the little things.  Choose to be happy and enjoy the ride ... life!

Goals ...

2014 is well underway.  The month of March has one day remaining.  New Year's resolutions may be wearing thin by now or gone altogether.  Why is it so difficult to succeed?  Sometimes we set our sights too high.  Other times we may not have put enough thought into them.  If asked today, you may not even remember what you  resigned to.  Regardless of the goal, we are looking for a result, and in order to achieve that result we have to make a commitment and develop a plan.  Yes, you have to commit.  Unless you have a genie in a lamp ;-) ... it will require diligence and usually hard work. Most things we'd like to change didn't happen overnight, so quick solutions will not bring quality results. Things to consider ... In order to increase your chance of succeeding, make small attainable goals with a designated time frame.  Make changes to the plan along the way if necessary.  If you fall off the wagon, get back on and move forward again.  Most importantly, REWARD yourself along the way.

An Attitude of Gratitude ...

"Gratitude" ... Merriam Webster defines this as a feeling of appreciation or thanks.  We all have things in life we are grateful for.  We are grateful for air conditioning in the heat of the summer.  We are grateful for a signal on our cellphone when we are stranded with a car that won't start.  We were grateful for snow days when we didn't finish that paper for school.  But do we truly have a grateful heart?  Every day I stop what I'm doing to reflect upon all the things and people I am grateful for.  On good days, when everything seems to be going my way, it's easy to have a long list of gratitude, but on the days that I struggle, I sometimes have to dig pretty deep ;-)  To live a life of gratitude takes practice, but the benefits are very rewarding.  Being grateful reminds us of what's important and the positive things in our lives.  I challenge you to give it a try.  It will truly make a difference in your life.

Time Flies ...

I thought I knew what that meant "time flies".  Little did I know that it would pick up so much speed.  It's like a snowball rolling down hill, only to go faster and faster the closer it gets to the bottom.  Funny, just when we think we are finally in a position to enjoy life, the snowball is barreling down that hill at it's fastest.  When I started blogging, my kids were young. Two still at home and one in college.  Now the oldest is married to a DMD who is continuing grad school and  my son is nearing completion of his MD/PhD.  My second is continuing his education at University, getting married in November.  The baby, my only daughter is a Sr Pharmacy Technician, still deciding what her life calling will be.  Much time has been spent making them my primary focus, as parents do.  Then, out of nowhere, it hit me like a ton of bricks ... Boom! ... I'M AN EMPTY NESTER!  No more lunch money.  No more gas money . My money is now my own.  It's the largest raise I've ever received.  Ironically, now I don't want to spend it.  It's now more fun to watch it grow. No more meal stretching of Hamburger Helper.  The menu now just may be a glass of wine.  Because I can ;-) ... The days spent running to ball games, plays, scouts and concerts have ceased. Changing your mindset is challenging,  but it is well deserving.  You did your job.  If you did it well, they will always know you will be there for them.  Mission accomplished.